The sanctity of the sanctuary
lingering to the past
the guns of war are rusted now
the barrels only hold the memory of fire
it has forgotten the taste of powder
the spark and the friction
the blood and the demon.
Drenched in the handkerchief of misery
are the stains of victory
the pumping blood of fury
triggers unconscious state of anxiety
search for the bones for some sympathy
nothing seems to hold the world together rather than self empathy.
The laughters are snatched
and joyous ecstasy are blown
100 days of horror
insist upon the revolution
inside lies the shattered glass of tragedy,
violence is the only solution
im only conditioned to die.
[I said: No one can love you more than I do
and she replied: Challenge!!??
I ended it up in laughter at that moment..
but later i realized.
and I said: Yes Challenge.]
who you are married to
who you are with
who you spend your life,
at this very exact moment,
as of now,
if time holds still,
i challenge you,
no one will ever love you more than I do.
Let not my love for you crumble into pieces
and have a stain
in this beautiful thing called love,
cause all i have known, all i have realized,
while falling madly in love
while going through all those agonizing misery,
love is precious.
Love is pure.
no matter what, love is divine.
For me…….love is you.
Deep sleepy eyes wide open
at 2:41 AM
with a sudden thought of you,
a photographic memory
is a curse to have
each and every thing plays like a movie
a year of memory in a split second
stuck in a time of complete passion and devotion
a worthless memorabilia
of torture and pain and misery.
Room full of people
at 11:37 AM
all are but white noise and nothing else
while staring out the window
onto nothingness full of dust and disgust
wondering of the times of good
while the heart feels all the chill
sulking over the period of times of fulfullness
where everything was
bright and yellow and orange and everything.
Cup of tea on the table
at 5:18 PM
a sip of loneliness
a pain never fathom
contemplating on the warmth once felt
all gone in an instant
now as cold as this tea
that has been sitting on the table for 30 minutes
drop the cup
break it down into millions like yourself.
Arms and legs spread apart
at 9:52 PM
under the blanket on cold winter nights
a frozen body lays underneath
pulsating with every memory
reminiscence of what once was
what once used to be
what you were and what you made me,
[q:Why don’t u just get over someone who broke ur heart?
Ans:cause this heart loved her so much….
so much so that i was willing to destroy myself for that girl
and this is me destroying myself]
happiness is a choice
i choose to have it with you
but with you gone out of me forever
under the arms of other
i can feel the photographs of you
crawling beneath my skin
ripping me apart, piece by piece.
so with this heavy heart pulling me down
there is no rising above
i am better yet sunken under this concrete floor
and adapt to the ashes of life-no-more.
the ecstasy of survival
-food, air, water-
seems nothing but futile
suffice no more for the living
as i am no more than dead.
there are no cut marks on my skin
no blood massacre
on the floor
to ease this pain.
no more denial of irresistability
fuck all the responsibility
i am just gonna pop these pills of solace
and lay myself to rest.
end the cycle of transmigration
this is me- self-destruction.
last words for you
hope you honor it:-
and i want you to go tell my mom
you are the reason her son is dead
you are the reason for her suffering
as you were the reason for his suffering.