Permanent Damage

An angel in disguise pushed me down below
i seek dark alleys
a heavey magnetic force draws me into darkness

an angel without wings flapped and flew away
the foot prints behind
only gush of thin air to fill the hollowness

and i scream to this darkness
ahhhh i scream to this emptiness
i scream to the pathetic desperation.

Irreplaceable
your touch on my lips still trails
and the skins tremble with the memories
damage has been done
permanently.

even the kings have to die
mere peasant that i am
suffering is decreed.
there is no denying
this is the death of me.

so i scream again
this time for survival
against betrayal
im a damage case
permanently unstable.

Suicide Note II

[im not the kind that kills people
im the one that dies for sacrifice.]

The unbeckoned melancholia
kicks in again
the visions and dreams once possessed
are turned into ashes
the histories are being washed away
with the growing tears
its not like everything reminds me of you now that i cant have you
remembering you is a habit
a routine
a curse from the heavens
of mighty disgusting angels where you once bestowed.

happiness has been an urban legend
a folklore
a mystical creature
a mysteries among the river.

im not a fuckin phoenix
that you burn
and i rise again from the ashes.
im washed away by the mere wind.
so i write you a love letter
from these walls im trapped in
from the day you shot me dead
read it
its all over the walls painted in red
the unreckoned melancholia.

The Cursed Reality Of The Broken Glass

The sanctity of the sanctuary
lingering to the past
the guns of war are rusted now
the barrels only hold the memory of fire
it has forgotten the taste of powder
the spark and the friction
the blood and the demon.

Drenched in the handkerchief of misery
are the stains of victory
the pumping blood of fury
triggers unconscious state of anxiety
search for the bones for some sympathy
nothing seems to hold the world together rather than self empathy.

The laughters are snatched
and joyous ecstasy are blown
100 days of horror
insist upon the revolution
within,
inside lies the shattered glass of tragedy,
violence is the only solution
im only conditioned to die.

Annihilate the world

[there comes a time in life when everything falls apart you see,
so you wait for a while…. before you do anything
sometimes you destroy everything]

lurking behind the faded smile
masquerade
lies the saddening eyes
Absolute worthless
existence of this life.

Denial of sensibility
all senses seize to exist
incubation of the new one
formation of the fortress,
Unbroken.

you belonged to me
and now you dont.
i needed you
while you didnt.

Paranoia pacification
inner peace temptation
a clarity of vision
spiritual degradation
a birth of a demon.

Breed the anger within
Hopeless isolation
I am Furious
Annihilate the motherfuckin world.

Hearts over Cards

[I said: No one can love you more than I do
and she replied: Challenge!!??
I ended it up in laughter at that moment..
but later i realized.
and I said: Yes Challenge.]

No matter
who you are married to
who you are with
who you spend your life,
at this very exact moment,
as of now,
if time holds still,
i challenge you,
no one will ever love you more than I do.

I challenge.

Let not my love for you crumble into pieces
and have a stain
in this beautiful thing called love,
cause all i have known, all i have realized,
while falling madly in love
with you,
while going through all those agonizing misery,
love is precious.
Love is pure.
no matter what, love is divine.
For me…….love is you.

Scarred Sanity

Deep sleepy eyes wide open
at 2:41 AM
with a sudden thought of you,
a photographic memory
is a curse to have
each and every thing plays like a movie
a year of memory in a split second
stuck in a time of complete passion and devotion
a worthless memorabilia
of torture and pain and misery.

Room full of people
at 11:37 AM
all are but white noise and nothing else
while staring out the window
onto nothingness full of dust and disgust
wondering of the times of good
while the heart feels all the chill
sulking over the period of times of fulfullness
where everything was
bright and yellow and orange and everything.

Cup of tea on the table
at 5:18 PM
a sip of loneliness
a pain never fathom
contemplating on the warmth once felt
all gone in an instant
now as cold as this tea
that has been sitting on the table for 30 minutes
drop the cup
break it down into millions like yourself.

Arms and legs spread apart
at 9:52 PM
under the blanket on cold winter nights
a frozen body lays underneath
pulsating with every memory
every words
every thoughts
reminiscence of what once was
what once used to be
what you were and what you made me,

A DEAD BODY.

Pills of Solace

A prescription paper

and a medication bottle

2 pills on the morrow

2 at the deepest dark of night

“oh how bright is this sweet fuckin life”

a cherish smile and a sense of accomplishment

a ticking clock and narrowing senses-

“I WANT TO DESTROY”

 

im a ticking time-bomb

buying time with these pills.

from sun rise to sun set

full moon and empty skies

pills of solace

between

heart beat and heart race.

like a mechanized robot

im devised

with these fuels.

 

These pills of false reality

are as fake as you.

These pills are overrated

so are you.

these pills are flawed

just like you.

“I WANT TO FUCKIN DESTROY”

 

Destroy the entity of my being

Destroy the pain i have swallowed

Destroy cause everything makes me sick

Im gonna explode

Im gonna

pop the bottle down to every grain

pop the bottle down to every grain

pop the bottle down to every grain.

 

Pills of Solace

kindly lay me to rest.