Existential Seize

creeping insanity of delusional reality
has been a regular dose of psychosis.
Illusion of your vivid structure
on a clear night skies along the moon
or be it the theatrical performance
of the gloomy clouds
in forming your flamboyant reflection
delusion of you never seem to seize.

the existential bummer-
existence of me without you,
existence of your imagery everywhere
-reality itself seems like a dream trapped in a virtual nightmare.
The fact that the distance between us-
suffice to fit this universe and millions more
-let us know how far apart we are,
Yet,
the hypnotic pair of eyes you possessed
i am obsessed with purified version of you.
I exist in a simulated reality you designed
and I
-the lunatic that i have become-
created for my existence.

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Mysteries within the walls

Side by side i stayed through it all.
Till the very end.
we were caught in the vortex of misery spiraled with self pity and emptiness
our lives were entangled together
and our thoughts conspired by the solitude
of those 4 walls beneath the ceiling.
unlike claustrophobia
the corners grew apart everyday
this tiny room which once barely befitted our needs
was growing so vast that our entire world could adjust within it.

we were those melancholic brothers
who would watch the most depressing movies
of gruesome brutality and murder
and death.

side by side we would lay down together
listening to the sounds hovering through those mighty speakers
other times the chimes of the hollow universe would soothe us.
sometimes the clock would tick and tick and tick
or maybe it was our combined heart-beat
exploding underneath
rushing of the blood through our inactive nerves
cause we never saw any clock in our room.
And then we would raise our glasses
filled with cheap alcohol
and toast to our forever bond
and talk about life and death.
Mostly death.

two different corners of this room we were seated.
once.
he made a noose out of those lingering wires in the room
unplugging the internet and the wi-fi
and knotted tightly over the ceiling.
He stared at me with a smile
and encouraged the devil in me without a word.
it seemed he had some telepathic power
like he roams around my brain
every thought, every secret
my conscience………he was a freakin god.
and to god i obey.
like a medallion
i anchored round my neck
and choked
and asphyxiated myself.
And there he laid dead
2 feet away from me.
I buried the body within this vast room.
Nobody ever asked, nobody ever knew.
i am him now, living his life,
i am resurrected.

COPYRIGHT SAJAN DANGOL 2014.